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By Mia LeCron 10. Lighten Up Often when couples have gone through or are going through some bumpy spots in their relationship, things tend to get serious. It could be that there is a tremendous amount of tension or perhaps they are not sure what to say. Regardless of the reason, learn to lighten up. Do not take every comment, glance, or movement as a serious problem. If your mate makes a mistake, which you both will, let it go, or if appropriate, laugh about it. If you make a mistake, do not be afraid to poke fun at yourself. This will automatically start the process of tension breaking. 11. Communicate When couples are having problems in a relationship, communication is the first thing to stop. It is often easier to just be quiet than to get mad. When rebuilding relationships, just as communication was the first to stop, it now needs to be the first to start. This will require that both individuals let down their guard and pretty much throw caution to the wind. Healing in the relationship cannot start until you talk. Make an agreement that you will talk about anything and everything and that you will listen, really listen. That does not mean that you will agree with everything, which is perfectly fine. However, if you do not agree, do not yell, rather, the two of you need to calmly discuss the issue and together, work out a solution. This is hard work but within a very short time, you will both feel much better, individually and as a couple. 12. A Night of Passion Intimacy and passion in relationships is not only important but also healthy. Couples need to enjoy being together in an intimate way. When relationships are troubled, the last thing either person wants is to be sexual or passionate with each other. However, this is a part of the healing and rebuilding of the relationship and although it might be awkward in the beginning, it is crucial. Make your intimate time together special. Surprise your mate with a warm bubble bath, lighted candles, soft music, and a bottle of wine, or reserve a nice romantic evening at a local hotel to include a wonderful candlelit dinner, fine wine, and a beautiful room. Mia LaCron is the founder of guide-to-happy-relationships.info - http://www.guide-to-happy-relationships.info - devoted to helping individuals develope happy relationships with their spouse. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mia_LeCron http://EzineArticles.com/?101-Ways-to-Build-Happy,-Lasting-Relationships—Part-4&id=95497 ambien and librax addicted ambien ambien cr zolpidem tartrate extendedrelease tablets ambien and memory

By Lee Dobbins Planting Gladiolas (or Gladiolus) is perhaps the most popular of all gardeners. The beautiful summer bulbs are colorful and brighten up any garden. However, they are not just for gardens, they also work great for a bouquet of flowers for your home or even a gift. Gladiolas require a great deal of care and a keen watchful eye. When to Plant Gladiolas thrive when specific conditions are met. They love humidity and warmer regions. They require consistent water and a well-tilled, rich soil. When should you plant gladiolas? Well, it depends on where you live. Check the package of your corm bulb and determine which zone you live in. Typically, when planting gladiolas, you plant the corm bulbs during the spring season, when any threat of frost has passed. Gladiolas are extremely sensitive to any type of frost. Therefore, planting should wait until frost has passed and if you live in an area in which frost is a regular occurance, you will need to dig up the bulbs during the fall months, before the first frost, and store them in your home. For warmer, frost-free areas of the world, you can leave your gladiolas in the ground during the winter months. Where to plant You want to make sure that you choose an area of your yard that receives maximum sunlight. Full sun is best, however, if you cannot get away from a partial shade, your gladiolas will still grow. When determining which area of your yard to plant in, make sure the soil is moist, but with good drainage. When planting several gladiolas at once, ensure that you leave about four to six inches of space between corm bulbs. The more space you give your plant the bigger your plant will grow, giving you awesome gladiolas during the summer. Care and Information You can expect to start seeing blooms in about three months or less after planting the corms. Your stems may need some support during the growth period, therefore, you may want to consider staking them up to keep them perky and tall. Gladiolas come in a variety of colors and you can generally expect blooms between July and September each year. They have an average height of anywhere from forty to sixty inches and are perfect for use in your home, cut flowers, or even as borders around your home or landscape. Lee Dobbins writes for Backyard Garden And Patio where you can learn about gardening and find out more about planting gladiolas. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lee_Dobbins http://EzineArticles.com/?Beginners-Guide-To-Planting-Gladiolas&id=451510 generic ambien zolpidem 10mg ambien without prescription in us zolpidem online pharmacy ambien woith out prescrpition

By Natalie Aranda In todays busy world many women are finding it hard, to have the time to look their best, but they must still look professional and make-up does make a big difference. But, how you can find the time to apply your makeup, cook breakfast, send your husband off to work, get the kids off to school and drop some off at daycare. This is not an easy feat for most women. But, I believe this makeup application tip will aid you in getting yourself ready and still be able to handle what ever is on your plate for the day. First, a beauty makeup tip would be to purchase these items, a good moisturizer, and an easy to apply foundation, eye shadow, eye concealer, blush, and mascara. Thats it. Do not go over board on your beauty routine during the times you have to rush off to work. Now, for the quick makeup application tip. First, if you can do without foundation, skip it. Do not forget the moisturizer; your skin needs the extra moisture. If you cannot do without the foundation, the quickest way to apply the foundation is to dot your forehead, chin, nose and cheeks. Now, with a sponge or a tad damp cloth smooth the foundation until it is blended completely on your face. Pay close to attention to your hairline, chin and jaw line. Applying the foundation will take the longest. Always remember to smooth upward, when you rub downward, you are only helping those wrinkles find their way. The next beauty makeup tip is to use only one color eye shadow. You are not trying to win a beauty contest or become the next diva. Remember you desire to look your best in the shortest amount of time. The best eye makeup tip is to check and see if you have dark circles, they do appear from time to time and then you must apply an eye concealer, if not skip this step. Only use it when you have to, this will save you plenty of time and could be the best beauty makeup tip of all for those of us in a hurry. Next, for your eye makeup tip, apply a small amount of eye shadow on the eyelid only, use the eye shadow as an eyeliner, and run the applicator under your bottom eyelashes. Add just a bit of mascara to your eyelashes. There the eyes are finished. The next beauty makeup tip is to apply just a bit of blush on your cheekbones and brush toward your ears. Apply a tad of lipstick and you are out the door and ready for anything. If you use these makeup application tips every day when you are in a hurry you should be able to completely apply all the makeup in about 5 minutes. Now that is one great beauty makeup tip that every women on the go will be happy to know about. Natalie Aranda writes about beauty, makeup & skin care. In todays busy world many women are finding it hard, to have the time to look their best, but they must still look professional and make-up does make a big difference. But, how you can find the time to apply your makeup, cook breakfast, send your husband off to work, get the kids off to school and drop some off at daycare. Beauty makeup tips would be to purchase these items, a good moisturizer, and an easy to apply foundation, eye shadow, eye concealer, blush, and mascara. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Natalie_Aranda http://EzineArticles.com/?Makeup-Tips-for-Busy-Professional-Women&id=152319 genuine zolpidem titrate ambien withdrawal time oxycontin ambien xanax ambien

By Steve John Cowan Payday loans are a convenient and conventional loan in which you pay the amount borrowed back to the lender in a few days or weeks time, including a pre-agreed amount of interest. At this point in time, the process of actually arranging the payday loan will generally fall into one of two categories, although, as with most things nowadays, the convenience of the internet is beginning to mean that loan applications online will be the way of the future. However, at this moment, one payday loan processing system is where you are required to fax the documents to the lender, whilst the other one is known as faxless payday loans or payday loans no fax. Payday loans no fax services allow you to apply entirely online. Such faxless payday loans are made available to anyone, with little or no reference made or heed paid to your current or past credit situation. However, this assumes that anyone wishing to get a quick payday loan has easy, convenient and quick access to the internet, which is not always going to be the case. It is still possible to apply for a faxless payday loan even without such online access, but it probably means a trip across town to the payday loans company offices, waiting in queue for approval, and so on. Probably better and more convenient in these circumstances to find someone with a fax machine, and go for a payday loan that does require some documentation to be faxed to the company. Nevertheless, some of these faxless, or online, payday loan lenders will agree such a loan almost instantly, with little or no reference to your credit history, outstanding debts and so on. All that they will require is that you have a steady income from your job, and perhaps proof of when the next wage check will come in, and for how much. Obviously, this is very simple, and very quick. The downside is that the less information you furnish your payday loan company with, the higher they will assume the risk to be. This translates into them charging you a higher rate of interest for the loan, in all probability. Moreover, it seems that, with the growing professionalism of the payday loans industry, there is a growing move to standardizing the requirements for loan applicants. Such requirements as minimum age 18, salary over $1000 per month, in the same job or 3-6 months, same address for the same time period, and so on, are becoming standard. Thus, what might be deemed to be the higher risk end of the faxless payday loan market, where the individual loan applicant is required to provide little or nothing in the way of documentation, is becoming the domain of he small time payday loan outfit.Again, these small time lenders have less money to actually lend, and therefore each individual payday loan represents a proportionately higher risk for them. Thus, you can expect even higher interest payments if you take a payday loan from this type of smaller lender.So, faxless or online payday loans are the easy way to raise cash very quickly and relatively painlessly, but still one should keep some important aspects in notice. The most important thing is that it is a loan or a liability and definitely not a gift. Just like any other debts, faxless or online payday loans d need to be settles, in full and promptly. Bearing this very firmly in mind, you should be very careful of how much money you borrow in the first place, remembering that you will have to pay back both the initial loan an all of the interest on the payday loan due date. Simply put, you should only borrow to the limit of what you can easily pay back without any substantial delay or problem. When doing this, also do not forget to take into account the possibility of some unforeseen bills crashing on to your door mat in the next month, and ensure that, even with this possibility, that the repayment in full of your payday loan should not present any major problems to you. Faxless or online payday loans do provide a great solution to short term cash flow problems, as long as you understand the rules of the game, and play by them religiously. Ignore this fact, and payday loans could become your worst nightmare! Stephen is an international business consultant, specializing in debt management and control working with major businesses in Asia. You can download his stunning free report Death By Credit Card at http://webbiz99.com/paydayloans Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_John_Cowan http://EzineArticles.com/?Payday-Loans-Online&id=506010 ambien - sleep walking ambien dosage lethal ambien dosages zolpidem to ambien

By Toni Coleman When you think about the qualities found in a true “soul mate” relationship, what one word comes up most often on the top of your list? Is it CHEMISTRY? Probably. Just the mention of this term conjures up powerful feelings and images for anyone who has ever been in or seeking a love relationship. It is often described as a feeling that leaves you breathless, excited and weak in the knees. Palms sweat, the heart races and the body tingles with nervous anticipation. It is believed by virtually everyone that true love cannot exist without chemistry. Therefore, the conclusion most would-be lovers come to is that if they experience these intense feelings towards someone, they have the basis for an ideal and lasting relationship. Right? Maybe not. For this definition of chemistry is limited to one’s physical response to another person. It lacks an entire dimension that resides in our values, beliefs, personalities and worldview In order to know you have the right connection with a potential (or existing) partner, it’s important to have a basic knowledge of what real chemistry consists of, instead of embracing only the myths that surround it. This can be difficult to do. This intense, physical passion is the stuff that Oscar winning movies and best-selling books are made of. So, take a step back for a minute and see if you recognize yourself in the following. Sarah is a thirty something, very attractive and successful, professional female. She has been in a relationship for over a year with a man who is unfaithful, disrespectful and incapable (unwilling) to make any commitment to her. Yet, when he makes late night “booty calls”, forgets her birthday, or stands her up repeatedly - she remains available and willing, in spite of her general unhappiness and upset over their “relationship”. Why? “I think I have mistaken great sex for love. I feel this intense chemistry and physical intimacy when we are having sex, even though he offers me nothing else. Over time, it has left me unhappy and feeling badly about myself.” John is an attractive, intelligent, 30 something male who owns his own successful business. He’s dating a woman that he thinks he is in love with. He has knowledge that she has been out with other men. She cancels dates and is often critical and emotionally distant. She refuses to discuss commitment or taking the relationship to the next level. Yet, she turns to John for emotional, physical and financial help whenever she feels she needs it. Why does John continue to see her? “She’s beautiful and the sex is great. We have such strong physical chemistry. It’s almost like an addiction for me. My friends can’t stand her and even I know she’s not really a “keeper”, but it’s hard to walk away. These vignettes are great examples of how physical chemistry can be mistaken for the real thing. The attraction on one level is strong, yet these are not relationships that have the right elements to grow into happy and satisfying partnerships. So, what is missing? Kahlil Gibran defines it as “spiritual affinity”. It’s the hidden element of chemistry. It’s when two beings meet and connect on a deeper level. It can only be felt in the heart and soul. It’s about friendship, respect, humor and the feelings of warmth and contentment that come when you are in his/her presence. People often report finding one without the other. This is understandably a cause of great frustration and confusion about whom should we choose and why. In order to understand this better, it is helpful to know how and when each facet of chemistry occurs. Physical attraction (or lust) generally begins during our first contact with someone. It can DEVELOP into something more over time, yet some pull is there from the beginning. The chemical that results from this attraction (and intensifies it) is phenyl ethylamine - or PEA. It is a naturally occurring substance in the brain. Essentially, it is a natural amphetamine. It stimulates us and increases both physical and emotional energy. The attraction causes us to produce more PEA, which results in those dizzying feelings associated with romantic love. Another substance that is released by PEA is dopamine. This chemical increases a desire to be physically close and intimately connected. When these chemicals are being secreted in larger doses, they send signals from the brain to the other organs of the body. If you wonder why you or someone is attracted to the “wrong” person, it may be because you are high on the physical response to these substances, which overwhelm your ability to use your head and exercise “good judgment and common sense”. “Spiritual affinity” develops over time and repeated contact. When these feelings begin to emerge, the brain produces endorphins. These are more like morphine and result in an increased sense of calm that reduces anxiety and helps to build attachment. As relationships move into this phase they are characterized by more comfort, commitment and friendship. Generally speaking, all “soul mate relationships” require at least some measure of each of these. The important thing to remember is that they come in stages, which is not to say that the physical attraction passes as one moves into a deeper connection. However, it changes. We cannot sustain those intense emotions as we travel down the road to commitment and a shared life. However, in healthy relationships those moments of intensity can and do occur for brief intervals at intermittent times. Remember not to confuse great sex or deep friendship with romantic love. Instead, look for a measure of both of these in your feelings for another. For then you have the ingredients that lasting love is made from. Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman’s Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Mens Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), and Nirvana magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com; discovery.health.com; aolnews.com; MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni offers dating help and relationship advice as the weekly love and dating coach on the KTRS Radio Morning Show (St. Louis, MO) and through her syndicated column, Dear Dating Coach.Her newsletter, The Art Of Intimacy, helps over fifty-five hundred subscribers with its dating and relationship advice. Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association Of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Toni_Coleman http://EzineArticles.com/?True-Love-And-Chemistry:-Exploring-Myth-And-Reality&id=427 zolpidem toxicity dog lorazepam cheap discreet ambien qoclick shop ambien and effexor together

By Jeff Lakie If you’re thinking about adding a pool to your home, carefully evaluate your reason for taking the action. If you think that a pool will add value to your home, check with a local appraiser first. Many people think that any improvement they make to their home will result in the value of the home increasing by that amount. In some cases, you do get almost a dollar-for-dollar return. But in the case of pools, you’ll get only a fraction of the cost of installation. If you’re considering adding a pool, chances are that you and your family love the water, love to swim and expect to spend many happy hours both in the pool and at poolside. You probably envision pool parties and barbecues, all with the family pool at the center of the activities. Pools can be great for families with teenagers. Especially if you’ve worried about your teens running with the wrong crowd, there’s nothing like the lure of a crystal blue pool to entice them to stay home. They’ll usually have friends along, but at least parents can keep a closer eye on them. That’s important and may in itself be enough to warrant the cost of the pool. Pools are also a great way to get exercise. Unlike running or jogging, there’s no impact on knees and ankles so you don’t have to worry about undue damage. There are other healthy benefits to using swimming as an exercise routine. All these are excellent reasons to install a pool, but remember that the reasons you are considering a pool may are not shared by everyone. To some people, pools in the backyard are nothing more than a liability. The point of an appraisal is to arrive at a market value for your house and property. Since not everyone will be excited about a pool, the market value for homes with pools - even inground pools - isn’t significantly higher than the market value for homes without pools. That means that the value of your home isn’t going to increase nearly as much as the cost of installing a pool. So should you skip the pool? If your family will enjoy the pool and you can afford it, go for it. The hours of enjoyment you’re likely to get from the pool is invaluable. Jeff Lakie is the founder of Swimming Pool Resources a website providing information on Swimming Pools Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeff_Lakie http://EzineArticles.com/?How-Do-Pools-Affect-the-Value-of-Your-Home?&id=73594 ativan suicide ambien and side ambien addiction depression zolpidem side effects

By Lauretta Lueck Spirit is the personality of life, and all life has spirit. On earth we are spirits clothed in matter, and heavenly beings are spirits clothed in light. These heavenly entities are the LORDS (New TestamentLords), the archangels, and their angelic hosts of helpers, angels, and seraphim. They were created for one purpose only and that is to serve the Light that is God, who has no shape or form, and cannot be seen or heard. The LORDS are the embodiment of God in the third heaven. They were created and ordained to be intermediaries between God and humankind and they have the power and authority to speak and act in the name of God. In essence they are God, but they are below God. They are what we would today call the LORDS of God and the names of these LORDS are seldom mentioned in the Bible because they speak for God and not of themselves. The Hebrew tribes had a LORD God (a LORD of God) who looked after them and who guided them personally. His name was Jehovah. Jehovah was not just another name for God as is believed by biblical scholars. He was the LORD of this planet for the first Homo sapiens, and later for the Israelites, the ancestors of Jesus. Angels and Archangels The archangels and their hosts of angels are the messengers and helpers of the LORDS of God. We cannot see them either, because they are of a higher vibration of energy than we are, and matter is the lowest of vibrations. Occasionally, however, under the right conditions of atmosphere or whatever it takes, an angel can be seen, and it is not a figment of the imagination. Our world still has a lot to learn about energy and light. Although we as humans are clothed in matter, we too have our eternal homejust like the invisibles of heaven. When we dieso calledand drop our earthly garments, our worn out, diseased or battered clothing will return to the dust from which it came, and we will return to the heaven of heavens and to one of the principalities known as paradise. While we are there we are as the angels and all the hosts of heaven. We will not be angels, as people like to think. We are “lower than the angels.” Nor will we be in the presence of God. Gods power and radiant light is above and beyond the third heaven, and the invisibles do not see him or have contact with him either as they too would be destroyed in his presence. The Bible refers to heaven as God’s throne, but he is above the heaven of heavensabove and around it. Is not God in the height of heaven? and behold the height of the stars, how high they are…and he walks in the circuit of heaven.Job 22:12-14 According to the Bible, the Son of God was the first of all beings and is the highest entity in heaven. He was, and is, the Son (uppercase S). He is the LORD of all LORDS and of all the hosts of heaven and is the highest being next to God.His name is Jesus. Rosetta Stone Press 2005. This is an excerpt taken from the book, The Many Waters, And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. By Lauretta Lueck (c)Lauretta Lueck, Rosetta Stone Press 200-2005. Lauretta Lueck is the author of the book, The Many Waters. Her book can be purchased on Amazon or ordered on her website at http://www.rosettastonepress.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lauretta_Lueck http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Heavenly-Entities:-Angels-and-Archangels&id=79537 order phentermine without prescription phentermine 30mg no prescription buy phentermine in california order phentermine overnight

By Leanne Warburton Marital Bliss? Young love followed by heavy financial divorce? Is it worth it?These days our marital status changes as quickly as Robbie Williams ever dying flings. Its not always intentional but our ability in modern times to cope with difficult or inconvenient situations is non-existent. Divorce is as common as sugar on a pancake and its quite sad that at my tender and vulnerable age, the only honorable couples I could respectfully look up to are dead or characters in classic myths. Every girl dreams of the day they walk down the aisle to the adoring gaze of their future husband but my dream and others is rapidly becoming faded. Although I do think ill get married one day, I am very wary of the meaning love. In my short life time I have been hurt twice by people I thought I could trust, but things have a way of working themselves out. Whether a couple decide to stay together for sheer convenience or for the fact that there are children involved in their sick equation it still eliminates the theme behind marriage, that is love!Im divorced is such a harsh statement but one we seem to take lightly. 30 years ago it was rarely heard of except in memorable stories of Henry the eighth, the serial committer. Once a couple married it was usually for life. Nowadays, on average 22000 couples a year file for divorce in Britain alone, So is this a case of becoming tired and bored of your other half or on a more serious level due to domestic violence, adultery or worse still, the inability to rekindle a burnt out flame? I suppose everyone has their own personal reasons but not half in my opinion are acceptable. Some people later in life regret the way they rushed such a life changing decision, and some dont look back at all. Im inexperienced in what I preach but I know enough from whats around me. Our environment, lifestyles and shockingly job titles often cause us to break the sacred vows we made to each other. Many people would not admit to money being the problem in their home because its something we dont care to think about. If the breadwinner of the family suddenly brings home two loaves instead of one it without question changes how we behave, live and judge other people. For a short time life is great but we must remember that money is a materialistic and dangerous thing. It makes us begin to believe that we are better and deserve better but in reality the only difference is your wallet. It seems obvious now that wealth makes you that much more untouchable and limits the thing you cannot do but does it bring happiness in all cases? Things take a turn for the worse when here are children involved and many people stay together because of this. Although it seems sometimes that children are too young to pick up the bad vibes and be affected things are not as they appear. Just because they dont comment or stop playing and laughing does not mean they havent noticed that their mummy and daddy dont love each other anymore. Children are loyal and naive, they believe what their told and never question it because they dont know any different. When they get older they re-assess the situation and look at it more sensibly, often they can feel bitter and cheated by their parents. Most children from a divorced family divorce themselves. This is expected however, as every one in three married couples divorce within five years. Are we as humans incapable of being faithful? Is society today too tempting for our weak hearts?To love and to cherish in sickness and in health, until deaths do we part Leanne Warburton Liverpool Age 18 Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Leanne_Warburton http://EzineArticles.com/?Marital-Bliss&id=69452 phentermine overseas pharmacy phentermine with no prescription required phentermine online dr phentermine 37.5 90 no prescription

By Thomas Morva There are a number of similarities in making soap and candles. Both require pouring the raw materials into molds to give them shape. Candles and soap need scents and color as well. Many stores sell both candle and soap making supply kits. Candle and soap-making supply stores are found nationwide and on the Internet. It is easy to find materials for very reasonable prices. Making soap is similar to making candles. The early steps are alike, in that they both involve melting the materials in order to pour them into a mold to give them shape. While wax or gel is used to make candles, a glycerin compound is usually used for soap. This is normally a mixture of natural vegetable oils, pure water, glycerin, and a soothing moisturizer. Once the raw materials are melted, they are poured into a mold that gives them shape. There are an endless variety of molds available for both soap and candles. Candles and soaps can be molded into a number of designs and shapes. Another difference, besides the materials used, is that soap molds are usually smaller than candle molds. Also, candles often stay in containers or votives, while soap is always taken out of its mold. Candles and soaps both benefit from the addition of colors and aromas. There are a number of dyes to give color to soap and candles. It is important to use the correct kind of dye for the soap. Candle dyes could be toxic and create skin rashes or discoloration if used in soap. There are scents that can make candles and soaps more pleasing, tiny bottles of concentrated liquid that give soap or candles an aroma. Candle and soap-making supply stores have all of the ingredients needed to make either product. It is important to use the materials for their intended uses rather than mixing and matching. The processes of making soap and candles are similar, but they are not identical. Candle Making Supplies Info provides detailed information on wholesale, discount, soy, gel, and bee wax candle making supply, and more. Candle Making Supplies Info is affiliated with Original Content. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Thomas_Morva http://EzineArticles.com/?Similarities-Between-Candle-and-Soap-Making-Supplies&id=73232 purchase phentermine with mastercard buy phentermine mastercard want to buy phentermine phentermine diet pills cod

By Brian Rzepczynski Introduction Question: My boyfriend had enough of me being a drama queen as he called me and then ended our relationship. I didnt get what he meant by that. I was only trying to express my feelings and communicate my thoughts. Now he calls me a big drama queen in front of his friends and I feel humiliated. How do I know if Im a drama queen and if I am one, what can I do to stop being one? One of three things is possibly going on for this subscribers situation: 1. His partner ended the relationship for some other reason than he stated and used the global drama queen label as an easy out for avoiding taking responsibility for why he truly left. 2. His partner may be emotionally stifled, uncomfortable with his own or others feelings and could not tolerate his boyfriends expressiveness, thereby leading him to terminate the relationship to distance himself. 3. He may be overly-passionate with his emotions and lack restraint or boundaries with effectively managing his feelings, unaware that he may have been overwhelming and pushing his partner away with his intensity. There could be a whole host of other reasons for the breakup, but the above could be most likely. If the reason was #1 or #2, our subscriber is better off searching for a more compatible partner who is capable of emotional expression, active listening, and direct communication of his needs and wants. The fact that the ex-boyfriend taunted him about his emotionality to his friends is also a sign of disrespect and he should view this as a big red flag about his exs level of maturity, character, and integrity. If the reason is #3, our subscriber may benefit from learning skills to better regulate his emotions to avoid reactivity in his relationships with others; this could be alienating him from getting his needs met. This article will offer some strategies for how to manage your feelings in your relationship with your partner so you can change the dynamics that exist toward more positive results for both of you. What Is A Drama Queen? Personally, I hate labels and drama queen tends to carry a negative connotation that describes someone who is over-emotional, irrational, and over-the-top with his reactions and interpretations of events. I prefer to define a drama queen as someone who is very passionate about how he feels and communicates this exuberance in a magnified way that can be out-of-proportion to the situation at-hand. Hows that for a politically correct definition?! Other personality characteristics might include extreme sensitivity, jumping to negative conclusions, thinking the worst about everything, moody, prone to overreacting, taking things out of context, impulsive, flamboyant, and the list goes on and on. These are, of course, stereotypical qualities; however, the defining feature would be the exaggerated sense of being reactive. Drama queen-types share common distorted thinking styles that lend them to react to situations the way they do, namely catastrophizing (blowing things out of proportion, dramatizing, creating worst-case scenarios and basing their decisions off of these judgments), mindreading (assuming they know what others are thinking without having the evidence to back it up), black-and-white thinking (thinking in all/nothing and either/or terms), and overgeneralizing (making sweeping judgments about something or someone across the board, using such words as always, never, everybody, and nobody). The problem with the drama queen label is that it gives feelings a bad rap, and thats a dangerous consequence. The key to success is finding that balance so that one doesnt operate within extremes. Facts About Feelings As clich as it sounds, all feelings are valid and ok; its what you do with them that counts. They arent right or wrongthey just are. Feelings communicate to us what we need, what matters to us, and whats going on. They are signals to pay attention to and help us make decisions about what to say and do. Therefore, its important to label the emotions we experience. We choose how we feel; nobody makes us feel a certain way, and conversely, we cannot change other peoples feelings. Our reactions to situations are within our control. Feelings demand recognition and should not be stuffed. Without some kind of healthy outlet for release, they can contribute to stress, medical and mental health issues, interpersonal problems, and lead to self-destructive behaviors to self-medicate against their effects. 8 Strategies For Quieting Your Inner Drama Queen Here are some suggestions for keeping your feelings in-check so they dont bubble-over and create undue stress for yourself or contribute to escalating conflict with your partner during important discussions. 1. Pay attention to the sensations you feel in your body that signal upset developing. Delay your reaction to whats happening and take a Time Out to compose yourself and gain some clarity of thought and perspective. 2. Keep a journal, draw out your feelings on paper, express yourself through some type of art project, exercise, practice relaxation techniques. 3. Identify the triggers that prompt times of strong emotion for you. Do you notice any patterns? How can you restructure those situations? Engage in some productive problem-solving to generate some possible solutions. 4. Monitor your self-talk. Your thoughts contribute to your feelings and behavior (they interrelate with each other too). During emotional times, keep a written log of the situations, feelings, and thoughts that occur and work at uncovering self-talk that can heighten your mood or cause distortions in thinking. Pay close attention to catastrophizing and overgeneralizing thoughts and beliefs. 5. During a moment of drama, ask yourself these questions to gain some additional perspective: Is this a real or imagined threat? If its real, whats the likelihood that it will happen? Can I really not cope with it? Whats the worst possible thing that could happen and is it a life or death threat? More often than not, you will feel defused after doing some reality-testing like this. 6. Examine your times of strong emotion and determine their function. Whats the purpose behind your feelings or outbursts? What do you hope to accomplish? What do you gain with such behavior? Stress relief? A sense of power? Attention? Try to find alternate ways of getting these needs met. 7. A lot of times in relationships, conflicts occur because the couple has unmet needs that they are acting-out toward each other rather than being direct and asking for what they want. When you overreact with your partner, is it because hes not meeting a need? Do you not feel heard or understood so that drama becomes a way of demanding his attention or adding an element of emphasis to your points? Learn to be assertive and make requests while doing the same for your boyfriend. Develop your mastery of communication and conflict negotiation skills. 8. Arguments or drama sessions with our partners take on predictable patterns over time, called chain reactions. He does or says something, you respond, he reacts, you react, and a downward spiral of negative responses to each others statements and behaviors ensues. Draw a diagram on a piece of paper of your chain reactions in your relationship and practice re-writing these scripts so they point toward more productive outcomes. Conclusion There is a cure for drama-queenitis! Be open to and identify your feelings, seek healthy channels of release for your emotions, and find ways to strike a balance with them and logic to create a more level and stable emotional posture. As a couple, support each other and try to understand the underlying feelings and dynamics at play underneath your conflicts because there is special meaning behind the drama. In addition, make sure to take an appraisal of your life history and begin to heal any past hurts that you might be projecting into your relationship that could take the form of dramatization. If you or your partner have difficulty understanding the language of emotions, read books on emotional intelligence and resiliency. Applying these strategies can help modulate your emotions and promote a much happier personal life. Let the drama be served up at the theatre instead! 2006 Brian L. Rzepczynski WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and this resource box are included: Brian Rzepczynski, Certified Personal Life Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: I work with gay men who are ready to create a road map that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right. To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs, and teleclasses, please visit http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com Please also include with the article the words Copyright and prominently display a link to our main page at the end of the article. Any feedback would be appreciated and can be sent to brian@thegaylovecoach.com. Thank you! Brian Rzepczynski holds a master’s degree in Social Work from Western Michigan University and is also a Certified Personal Life Coach through The Coach Training Alliance. He launched his private coaching practice, The Gay Love Coach: Man 4 Man Coaching Services (http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com), in 2003 and works with gay men, both singles and couples, on developing skills for improving their dating lives and relationships. He publishes a free monthly ezine called “The Man 4 Man Plan” that has helpful articles, tips, resources, and an advice column relating to gay relationships and dating. He is also the co-author of the 2005 self-help book “A Guide to Getting It: Purpose & Passion.” Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brian_Rzepczynski http://EzineArticles.com/?Taming-The-Drama-Queen-Within&id=257036 phentermine no prescription pharmacy phentermine no prior prescription needed buy phentermine diet pills cheap phentermine on line